DEALING WITH LOSS

In loving memory of Luana*

We all go through life experiencing loss. We lose a tooth as children, we lose our friendships later as adolescents, and at some point in life we lose our loved ones, too. It could be a sibling, a parent, or in some cases a child.

Every time we experience loss, we have our ways to cope with it. Some losses being more painful than others, we learn to deal with them in ways that we can, and however we are able to.

When we lose a loved one, something deep changes within us. We usually spend time in mourning, grieving for the person that has departed the Earth, and sometimes we feel sorry for ourselves, because we don't have the loved person around us anymore.

Yet, when this happens, and we experience loss, do we also lose the OPPORTUNITY for change? Do we lose the chance of listening closer to the people around us? Do we miss the chance to be kinder to our environment and the animals around us? To be more aware of the negative ways of thinking that we constantly project into the world?

In those moments, after the anger and the sadness of losing a loved one is gone, we usually try to bargain, and make some deals with God and with our destiny, promising that we won't forget the people that we loved, that we will remember to be kinder to the ones that are still with us, and that we will become better people. This bargaining, we do it in hope that somehow, we can make ourselves feel better for the regret we experience toward our loss of a loved one. We are sincere in our regrets, and we are sincere in our promises.

Only that it doesn't take long for any of us to return to the "usual, regular life." If we are lucky enough, the feeling of love we felt for the person that left our physical presence, will keep reminding us to try to do everything we promised. But even with that reminder, we fall back into our routines. We fight with our children, or our spouses, we get angry at some person on the street. We get impatient when an important matter doesn't get resolved as quickly as we would want it to. And we move on with the same lives we've had previous to our loss.

This is what people consider a normal behavior. It's a coping mechanism that everyone has acquired, in order to survive an emotional trauma. But what if, each time we lose a loved one we take the opportunity to awaken to our true Self? What if we take advantage of these times to get in touch with our feelings, with our Soul's purpose, and to act on our desire to "be a better person?" What if we wouldn't just make a promise to be a better person, but we actually make a conscious effort every day to become that better person that we want to be? What if we keep ourselves accountable for the changes that we are consciously making in our lives?

What if we didn't let another loss remind us of the promises we made, and we start living with the commitment to be the kinder sibling? What if we made sure that we become more aware, and we don't fall into old patterns of behavior with our spouses and parents, which are leading to old conflicts? What if we do all this?

Then, we would definitely honor the memory of the people we loved (who are either gone, or still with us) by showing them that we are honoring our lives, and the lives of the people that are around us now. We would honor and cherish this precious gift that it is given us, the gift of making a difference in someone else's life. And in the end, we would honor our purpose of being here on Earth.

Hoping that your life will be filled with love and compassion each day, I will let you know dear friends that my life wouldn't be the same without you being part of it. I cherish this immensely. Thank you.

Copyright 2014 Joy and Clarity
www.joyandclarity.com

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Note* Luana is a wonderful Being, whose life is a tremendous example of compassion and love. She was one day shy of her 27th birthday when she passed away, due to a tragic burn accident this recent August. As a veterinarian and activist, she dedicated her life to rescuing, caring for, and changing the circumstances of life for so many animals. She loved to laugh a lot, and she loved flowers and trees. Her family and loved ones have created a platform to continue her dream - Luana's Dream. If you'd like to participate in a worldwide tribute offered to her, plant a flower or a tree. It was her wish that everyone would do so. And to be kinder.